no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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