just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
