this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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