We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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