At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
