at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
