he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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