ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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