My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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