he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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