kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
