We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
