Sponge bath it is.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize