Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize