I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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