She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
