If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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