i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
