shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
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I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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