Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
