i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
