whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
