what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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