Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I believe in your delicious
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
