I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
