good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I currently don't understand fingers.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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