Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
