Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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