If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
