So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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