I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
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