Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
