1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
