so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize