he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize