Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
