am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
