Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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