I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
