doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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