he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
