Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
