she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
