this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
