If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
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told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
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This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.