Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
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Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.