Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house