woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I still have a little drunk in my system
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.