you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
