I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize