But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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