If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Also, beer. Big fan.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize