That's intense
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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