If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
it glows. i had to have it.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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