and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
